How (Not) to Pill a Cat

Those humans never seem to learn
for medicine I will never yearn.

They thought they could force it down my throat,
but I held out 'til my tongue started to float.

When out of my mouth came a torrent of drool,
it was then they found out I was Nobody's Fool.

Sometimes a cat's gotta do whatever she must
and I knew it wasn't pretty from their looks of disgust.

It wasn't ladylike, I'd certainly admit,
but sometimes I simply must pitch one heck of a fit.

Now, of course, you all know that I'd definitely win
and I was put to the floor with my legs in a spin.

I ran for the rug where I spit and I sputtered
and Dad seemed most unhappy as he cursed and he muttered.

As the mess was cleaned up, I knew we were done.
And for now I'm the victor....at least in Round One.

I know they'll try again to give me the cure;
how much more of my punishment can those two endure?

It really upsets them when I throw a fit,
but it doesn't worry me in the least little bit.

You see, they'll soon come back to pet and to preen.....
'Cause lest they forget it, it's me who's the Queen!

~~~ Banshee, the RugCat Queen
(with a little help from her Dad)

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A little background on this poem. Banshee has sinus problems and every now and then, she has to take medicine. One of the medicines she takes is a very foul-tasting pill indeed. When it's time to take this pill, she fights us with all her heart. We've tried putting it in her canned food. We've tried putting it in people-tuna, her most favored treat. We've tried using a pill-shooter....all to no avail. With loud retches and gagging, she brings that pill up every time. And she fixes those green eyes of hers on me with a most evil glare. Rick, the RugCats' Dad, came up with this poem in her honor....because you've never been glared at until you've been glared at by the Queen!